Breakin the cycle

See we had traditional Xmas, well traditional to us @ 4951. The night before Xmas was DEC. 26 or sometimes the Monday after Xmas. Why!?!?!? Check Day!!!! It wasn't always the 1st and 15th for you check. There was a time where it was just the 1st. If you have any kind of habit, you have more money going out then coming in. So if a check was coming on Dec. 15 you know you have 9 days before Xmas, yet you know if you have a habit. Your thinking I got a check coming the day after Xmas........my kids love me and I love my habit too. Which one will I chose? Yep!!!! There were times when Xmas was on the 26th or any day after. Chairs, doors or whatever else was decorated like a Xmas tree. That was our tradition. That My Mom was the Black Macgyver she could make nothing into anything (more on this later). Till this day that chair was the best looking tree I have seen. For all you who are looking for a mate or trying to figure out who to be with, God has given the measuring stick, female looking for a male your Dad, male looking for female you Mom's. Believe it is fail proof. Yep she is like my Mom, strong, hardheaded, creative, gets
on my last nerve, says things to you that no one else in this world could get away with, loves you harder, when they are not feeling well your not feeling well, they are hurt you want to hurt who hurt them and most of all when they are not around your lost. I know I am not the only one that when the phone rings I want the caller id to say Norland Bailey or Bernadette Bailey.

Let me hit you with this I have had times where i didn't call people on the holidays because I felt like I was being unfair because i couldn't call them. When I first moved to Coatesville after leaving Philly (Sorry Girls for Leaving Y'all!!!! Love you!!!) I wasn't used to the lifestyle, having a phone, electricity,.....etc. So the material things overwhelmed me. I asked Dana and Amir if I could called Aunt Pam, Mom. Dana paused for a moment, and said If I wanted to I could but just be sure. I never did do it though. Candi I ain't knockin you Sis, I love you for you courage. I didn't do it because I was scared. Whoa!!!! Couldn't lose two if you feel me. I didn't start grieving I mean really grieving until I was in my 20's. I had to leave Coatesville and go back in order to grieve.


WOW!!!! The devil had me so bound up in my past that I could not even enjoy the birth of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. See what we don't see or want to see is when we act like the past didn't happen the devil has victory. For me not to acknowledge what has taken place lets the enemy feel like it still has a hold on me. I got to stand up and say I WANT IT ALL BACK!!!! Everything that you took from me.......my past mistakes.........my joy.........my self-esteem........MY FAMILY..........yes I have forgiven all those who wronged me and i am ready to move forward, let me ask this if i am ready to move forward shouldn't I be able to talk about those things that have been thru. ITS CALLED A TESTIMONY!!!!!!!!!!! For years the past has interfered in everything I was involved in, from my relationships to how I looked at myself. The past has a way of trapping us in a box. You could have forgiven everyone who has done you wrong that's just opening the flaps on the box and peeking your head out. NO LONGER WILL I BE IN THE BOX. This family was given its ministry on 7th street. Tell me who we cannot Minister to, tell me who I cannot identify with, family issues I got them, issues with self I got them, anger issues I got them, issues with the opposite sex I had them, addiction I had them and through the God's grace and magnified mercy and through Jesus stripes I AM HEALED!!!!!!! There ain't nothing that I can go through in the future that God has not prepared us for, come on now!!!!!! God tests and the devil tempts. God will not test you on things on he has not already covered. NO POP QUIZZES!!!!!!!