Agony from Sin

There are many ways to know for sure that we are in Christ, destined for heaven (1 John 5:13). When we see good fruit (Matthew 7:20), when we obey (John 14:21), when we love our brothers and sisters (John 13:34-35), and when we love God rather than the world (1 John 2:15) are just a few of the ways whereby we can know if we are saved. Yet there is another way that, as believers, we will all inevitably experience, though we don’t want to have to learn this way. When we let sin go unconfessed and continue to resist the conviction of the Spirit and the truth of the Word of God, we can expect to experience internal double-mindedness, instability, joylessness, and agony. David was a man after God’s own heart, yet he sinned, committing adultery and murder on one occasion. After he committed these grievous sins, he hardened his heart and covered up his sin, refusing to acknowledge it until he was confronted by the prophet Nathan. Perhaps he felt that he had gotten away with his sin in terms of keeping up his image and reputation, but deep down in his heart, he was in agony. His sin probably brought him some short-term pleasure, but the Spirit of God within his heart was working agony in him. Certainly, the sin was not worth the pain and the destructive results, including the punishment God would bring upon him and upon his newborn child who would die as a result of his sin (2 Samuel 12:10-14).

As Christians, we are ashamed of the sins that we used to take pleasure in (Romans 6:21), and unconfessed sin will bring shame and guilt once again. That said, it is possible that, when we let sin go unconfessed, we might not feel guilty because we have been deceived or because we have convinced ourselves that somehow our sin is justifiable. In these cases, we must believe that we are in sin because the Bible says so even if we don’t feel badly about it. We should pray for godly sorrow and a longing for righteousness (2 Corinthians 7:11), and we should repent and seek God’s forgiveness. The key is that we must remain humble, tender, sensitive, and open to the Spirit’s conviction. Whether we feel His conviction and the accompanying shame and guilt or not, we can be sure that if we are indeed in sin, the Spirit is working on our hearts. We must not grieve Him (Ephesians 4:30) or quench Him (1 Thessalonians 5:19) by ignoring and resisting Him, but we ought to pray for sensitivity to Him and a penitent, humble heart to respond to His ministry.
If we have sinned against God, we need to ask His forgiveness. If we have sinned against others as well, we also need to ask their forgiveness. If we do not do this, we risk continuing to be in a spiritually crippled state, being rendered ineffective in terms of a fruit-bearing ministry. Those whom we have offended may not accept our apology, but what matters is that we confess our sins to them. James 5:16a says, "Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed." Our sin can make us spiritually weary, infirm, feeble, and sick and sometimes physically as well. We waste away internally as David did and lose our joy. In such cases, healing is right around the corner if only we would confess our sin and receive the forgiveness of Christ. If we have sinned against others as well, we must confess our sin to them also.
God is in the business of restoration, forgiveness, compassion, and the giving of joy. Thus, in His mercy, He will work to lead us to brokenness over our sin, allowing us to experience the agony of guilt and shame in the face of a holy, loving God. The upside of this is that it reminds us that we are His and that nothing can separate us from His love (Romans 8:39). The downside is that sin has consequences, and it does us and others great harm. So let us be spiritually healed this day, confessing our sins to God and to those who need our apologies so that we might be restored. Why continue in agony when God wants to replace our sorrow with gladness?